Pour Poor Me: 10 Signs of Self Pity

For the last couple days, i’ve been getting the word “self-pity” a lot in meetings and my readings. Here’s a tip for y’all and you don’t even have to be a user to use it.

If you notice the same word or expression several times in the same day, the universe is sending you a message you need to pick up on (and tell the universe i said “hi”, OK?).

If i’ve been hearing “self-pity” a lot, it means i need to hear it. To think about it. The universe is diagnosing me.

What, then, are thought patterns that say i’m feeling sorry for myself?

Ten Signs of Self Pity

  • Life is unfair
  • Life is hard
  • My life is harder than everyone else’s
  • i have the worst luck
  • i can’t catch a break
  • This day is out to get me
  • i’m alone in this world
  • The world is populated with selfish assholes
  • Nobody gets me
  • i hurt more than other people
How many of those i feel or don’t feel at any given moment vary, but i need to be on my guard for each of those, because each of those thoughts can set me on a path to anger and depression that can jeopardize my recovery.

About Al K Hall

Like a battered drinker or a punch drunk boxer, i am here for another round. For those of you who don’t know me, i’m a semi-professional writer on the rocks and a non-practicing alcoholic (if after 30 years of practicing, you still can't do something well, it's best to just give it up). For those of you who do know me, thanks for stopping by anyway and where’s the ten bucks you owe me? Welcome to my Bar None. A hole in the wall where we can hang out and trade the kind of stories you swap only when you’ve had one too many and either can’t find your way home or are afraid to. Hell, it’s cheaper than therapy and plus the pictures are prettier. Here we’ll crack open bottles and jokes and ‘last call’ are the only dirty words you’ll never hear. Pull up a stool and make yourselves at home.

Posted on October 2, 2011, in Alcoholism, Lessons in Recovery, Recovery, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. “If you notice the same word or expression several times in the same day, the universe is sending you a message you need to pick up on”

    This is so true! I have seen this happen in my life many times, too. Noticing, being mindful of the signs and signals around us, is so important to keeping ourselves healthy and happy, isn’t it. I think the noticing, the picking up on the universe’s signals is over half the battle of renewing our thinking. For me, the one that often comes up is “take care of yourself.”

    I have definitely gotten into the self-pity cycle before, too, and it often has led to depression. I like how specific your list is — how those phrases and words have come up for me, too.

    I was curious — had a thought as I was reading the list. For you, what kinds of situations or experiences seem to trigger the “poor me” thoughts? In which kinds of circumstances do you go to the “poor me” place in your head? I know for me it is usually when something goes the opposite way that I expect, like when something does not happen that I think should happen, or vice versa.

    Also, once you recognize the “poor me” thought, what is the next best step in turning it around, do you think? How can someone derail the pity party and get on track with a better path of thinking?

    • Hi Angel!

      Isn’t it funny how the Universe has our backs? Now if only i were better at answering those calls and not putting the Universe on hold.

      The self-pity trigger since beginning my sobriety is probably the financial stuff. Looking at the bank statement can start that “poor me” cycle and once i’ve started that it tends to snowball and i can find excuses to pity myself wherever i look.

      And i will dedicate future posts to the “solution”, although i’m not convinced there is one. i’ll try to find some tips and tricks to turn that thinking around. Maybe talking to my sponsor tonight will give me some ideas for this.

      Keep coming back, babe,

      Al K Hall

  2. Have to say … i’m doing fairly decent on the pity pot. Since Harper’s gone … sometimes the “it’s unfair” comes up … and no one gets me ALWAYS comes up … that’s a given … cuz i’m so weird … but all in all, i’d say my pity pot is only 1/8th full due to some giving AND receiving. Have to do both … you know, open you heart — give stuff, and fill it up with good stuff too.

    HO HO HO!!! melis

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