Self Pity the Fool

In Life, sometimes the roof leaks.

Personally, i love to take advantage of this opportunity to gnash my teeth and wail about the unfairness of God’s being out to get me. Pour poor me.

Reality, on the other hand, goes something more like this.

  1. There’s a hole in my roof.
  2. i haven’t fixed it yet.
Life is going to happen. It’s up to me whether i deal with it, or self indulge in a pity party of 1. Either way, i can’t complain because i made the choice.
In other news, today marks nine months of sobriety for me, thus continuing my longest stretch of sobriety since i started drinking, 30 years ago.

About Al K Hall

Like a battered drinker or a punch drunk boxer, i am here for another round. For those of you who don’t know me, i’m a semi-professional writer on the rocks and a non-practicing alcoholic (if after 30 years of practicing, you still can't do something well, it's best to just give it up). For those of you who do know me, thanks for stopping by anyway and where’s the ten bucks you owe me? Welcome to my Bar None. A hole in the wall where we can hang out and trade the kind of stories you swap only when you’ve had one too many and either can’t find your way home or are afraid to. Hell, it’s cheaper than therapy and plus the pictures are prettier. Here we’ll crack open bottles and jokes and ‘last call’ are the only dirty words you’ll never hear. Pull up a stool and make yourselves at home.

Posted on October 11, 2011, in Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholism, Lessons in Recovery, Recovery and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 14 Comments.

  1. Dude!!!

    9 months! You mention it in passing! Sing it from the Roof tops! Dance in the rain! Congratulations!!! Get out those CFM shoes and kick up your heals. Then get on your knees and sing Gratitude! This is a very important day. 9 months for me, in hindsight, was IT! We are all different but recovery road is recovery road; you are cruising high way 66 full speed ahead! (just make sure your higher power is riding shotgun and your sponsor is on speed dial).

    Really, congratulations!! All the best. And thank you thank you for sharing your journey with Grace and Humor. (you wordsmith, you!).

    • Lol! Thanks for the support, Jen. i am indeed feeling very comfortable in my recovery, cruising down the highway, except my Higher Power is in the driver’s seat and i’m riding shotgun. i tried controlling things too long, even told my higher power to sit in the back seat, and found out that when things didn’t go where i wanted them to, that it was a good excuse to pull over and drink. So now i’m giving that responsibility up and enjoying the wonderful ride.

      Keep coming back, babe!

      Al K Hall

      • How quickly I forget! Of course HP is driving; maybe you are on the subway in the Church Basement Meeting Car and HP is driving the train. No stations stops unless HP says so.

        That is where i am riding today… shit happens; HP drives even after 20 years.

        I will not leave. You are too inspiring I really like your style.

        enjoy the view while the world flys by. Sober is Good.


  2. Congrats on 9 months! Sounds like you are a bit depressed from time to time. That’s normal for anyone but especially common for people in “mid-recovery” because of that bloody Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome.. (I know I repeat myself but you must keep that in mind. PAWS is real and it is horrible.

    Fortunately, you’ll be through the worst of it soon if you stay dry. And exercise makes a lot of those symptoms go away! What is your exercise routine these days, Al? Maybe it’s time for a re-examination?)

    One thing that I learned in my meetings is that being sober doesn’t make your problems go away, but it does make them much clearer. And that clarity helps in formulating plans for dealing with them and actually executing them successfully.

    Can you think of how many times in the last 9 months an unpleasant situation has come upon you that ordinarily would have triggered a drinking fest? (For example, my employer recently had a round of stealth layoffs following the Jack Welch philosophy of letting some people go for the sake of scaring the shit out the survivors.) And how much better it was that you simply let it pass or dealt with it proactively (i.e., I went out and secured 2 standing job offers so I wouldn’t have to worry about it anymore) rather than wallow in it? You will see that time and time again, your life is better off because you did not resort in an easy escape. Do you feel, like me, that most of the unpleasant situations were not all that bad, and that it simply was foolish to overreact with the bottle before?

    • ITSB!

      Great to see you back, brother. And your tips, as usual, are fantastic. The PAWS article was a big help, especially the way he talked about hypoglycemia. His tips were spot on and really will help a lot.

      As for exercise…this is no doubt my weak link. My exercise routine consists in waking up. Or standing up to get some food.

      You’re right about the gratitude. My sponsor has to keep reminding me about that, too.My brain has to learn to make the effort to find the positive because it’s been so skilled at finding the negative for many many years.

      Keep coming back, man,

      Al K Hall

  3. Congrats on the 9 months! That is awesome!

  4. oh exercise. YES! makes a world of difference. Ditto that Good Buddies.

    • Kind of an addendum to the exercise thing. For my job i take the subway and walk a lot (minimum 30 minutes a day) with a heavy backpack. Plus, i have Plantar fasciitis (my feet are screwed) so walking pretty much is painful whenever i do it. Of course, i could do exercises that don’t involve walking or running…

  5. i’m way behind here, forgive me? I’ll catch up. Hey, what can i say? .. i like short, to the point, posts. Like your style. Nine months is awesome. Lots of “one day at a times” … truly, it is .. isn’t it??? Some easier than other.

    My HP! … i really like to DRIVE .. actually i don’t have a drivers license … but i DO like to push the cart … have it my way … and i never “win”. Maybe get a little CRAZIER than a dry drunk … but crazier.

    Keep HP in the D-seat … you’ll be cool. Thanks so much for sharing! One day is a gift … sober. Mel

  6. Mel-ady!

    Good of you to make the effort. Thanks for taking the time out of your busy posting to read back through some of these. Already tomorrow marks 10 months of not drinking, which is a good enough start!

    Thanks for the encouragement, and Keep coming back,

    Al K Hall

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