A Big Step

Reaching Out

Steps 4 & 5 of the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book read:

Step 4) Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Step 5) Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

i spent a week or so doing my “fearless moral inventory” and it was less painful than i thought. i did it in starts and fits and in the end i had 2½ pages with 3 columns, following the outline in the Big Book.

Step 5 was exhausting. i admitted to God, myself and the other human being was my sponsor. It took about 3 hours and i was reminded yet again how crucial it is to have a good sponsor.

Mine listened closely and did not judge. He told me some of his Step 4 stories and we took breaks. When i’d finished, he found patterns in my defects and gave me specific advice on how to work on each of them. i’ll be sharing some of these tips here, soon.

When i stood up at the end, i was light headed. A little woozy. i felt raw and drained.

But i felt different.


About Al K Hall

Like a battered drinker or a punch drunk boxer, i am here for another round. For those of you who don’t know me, i’m a semi-professional writer on the rocks and a non-practicing alcoholic (if after 30 years of practicing, you still can't do something well, it's best to just give it up). For those of you who do know me, thanks for stopping by anyway and where’s the ten bucks you owe me? Welcome to my Bar None. A hole in the wall where we can hang out and trade the kind of stories you swap only when you’ve had one too many and either can’t find your way home or are afraid to. Hell, it’s cheaper than therapy and plus the pictures are prettier. Here we’ll crack open bottles and jokes and ‘last call’ are the only dirty words you’ll never hear. Pull up a stool and make yourselves at home.

Posted on October 23, 2011, in AA Step Work, Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholism, Lessons in Recovery, Recovery and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. Al, big step. Taken!
    That is a Tough One.

    Congratulations my friend,


  2. That photo totally cracks me up… 😀

    I can imagine that condensing 28 years of a career of drinking into a three hour share is truly draining. It’s like doing a spiritual marathon or something. A mountain climb? A descent into a cave and then back up again? (Now I have Mordor on the brain, lol.) Anyway, what was really cool was to hear you speak about the experience and then reading here that you felt “different” — transformed — by the experience. I’m glad you have found such a good sponsor.

    Congratulations on the successful completion of 4 & 5.
    Mrs D

    • Hi Angel,

      It did feel profound. And i agree 100%, i am so fortunate in my choice of a sponsor. i don’t see how it could have gone better.

      Keep coming back,

      AL K Hall

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