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Why i’m Insane

No Shortage of Insanity Here

i drank for 28 years and the drinks i liked the most weren’t beer or wine or whiskey. My favorite drinks were mojitos and daiquiris and Mike’s Hard Lemonade—drinks where i couldn’t taste the booze.

i drank for 28 years and my drinking hurt my relationship with my kids, my wife, my girlfriends, my friends, my job, my health. i drank despite the financial burden, the hangovers and the smack downs and the lost phones, keys, money, stolen camera, dangerous situations, flirting with death…

Step 2 of the Alcoholic Anonymous 12 step program states:

[We] Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

When i went into the program, i thought, “OK, sure, i’m an alcoholic but insane? That seems a little harsh.”

Then i realized, i drank for almost 30 years despite the damage i was doing and despite the fact i don’t even like the taste of alcohol.

Another helping of insanity, anyone?

[My first Insane post]

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About Al K Hall

Like a battered drinker or a punch drunk boxer, i am here for another round. For those of you who don’t know me, i’m a semi-professional writer on the rocks and a non-practicing alcoholic (if after 30 years of practicing, you still can't do something well, it's best to just give it up). For those of you who do know me, thanks for stopping by anyway and where’s the ten bucks you owe me? Welcome to my Bar None. A hole in the wall where we can hang out and trade the kind of stories you swap only when you’ve had one too many and either can’t find your way home or are afraid to. Hell, it’s cheaper than therapy and plus the pictures are prettier. Here we’ll crack open bottles and jokes and ‘last call’ are the only dirty words you’ll never hear. Pull up a stool and make yourselves at home. http://about.me/AlKHall

Posted on October 28, 2011, in AA Step Work, Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholism, Lessons in Recovery, Recovery and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.

  1. My insanity began every single morning for 22 years.

  2. Dear Al, Excellent Honest Wrenching Post. I have to say it sounds to me like you are REALLY working your program HARD! Blessings to you my friend. This is where the juice is in recovery. I figure, I drank hard, lived hard, I might as well throw that energy at sobriety. It pays off BIG time. I really have to say, I have known so many people 9 months in (out?) and VERY few have taken it this seriously. My hat off to you. You love your family. Your family loves you. That is what it takes: waking up with love every day and deciding to keep living Hard only; program Hard!

    Peace, Jen

    • Thanks, Jen!

      One of the things that i love about the program is that whatever you put into it, you always get double back. So why not invest as much as i can if it’s a guaranteed winner?

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

  3. wow Really like this post!! Yeah, you’re right, it is insane, all the things we’ve done! Insanity is the right word.

    Well written.

    • Thanks for the props, brother. It’s a lot easier to see the insanity of it all with a little distance, that’s for sure.

      I’m also glad you liked the writing. In general, i personally think the writing i do here is subpar because i’m too close to the subject, but if the message is getting through… that’s the most important thing.

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

      • The writing is great.

        I mean, ya know, it’s so uncool to say what you write, it has to be honest. I really like the honest writing. Maybe because I’m 100 years old, I don’t care about the cool factor.

        Your italicized last statement bring it back to the first line, and that is just perfect.

  4. hi! just stopping in to say that i’m really, really proud of you. 🙂 your friend, emc

    • Hi M’dear!

      i can’t tell you how much i appreciate your taking the time to stop by and wish me well. You have the biggest heart of any genius i’ve ever known, EMC!

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

  5. Man, i know the loss of friends, family … the hurt … losing the car, keys, financial HOLE that my drinking and for me, my bulimia, dug for me … and i was willing to live in it as i watched the shit — the insanity play out in my life. DUH? Another helping of insanity anyone? I have a lifetime of binging on insanity …

    Stay cool, work it … it’s working for you.

    mel … a frequent flyer now … hope …

    • “Binging on insanity…”

      What a great way to put it! i am working it and it is working. Now, if only i could be cool…lol.

      Thanks, Mel. Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

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