Blast From The Pabst

Don't Hit the Books Alcohol alcoholism recovery

Don’t Hit the Books

Tonight i was reminded of my University career (i graduated from a State University with a Bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and an Additional Major in Psychology). My drinking problem became apparent very early on in my studies, but College is great camouflage for alcoholism.


In my Senior year, i toyed with the idea of going to Grad School for a Masters so i had to take the GMAT (?—GSAT? who can be bothered to remember this crap?). The all-day test started at 8 on a Saturday morning and was rigorously timed like all the official tests.

The night before the exam, i planned to finally crack the study texts i’d bought months before, but a party broke out in my apartment instead. i got drunk on Lambrusco and have vague memories of walking around my apartment barefoot, wearing a jean jacket with no shirt. Then i remember hurling an empty bottle of wine at the wall over my bed. The glass shattered and sprayed the sheet like the dregs of the wine. i took off all my clothes and passed out on the broken glass.

Somehow i woke up in time for the test, with the blood stains on the sheet from the cuts on my back indecipherable from the wine stains. i didn’t have time to shower, but i made it to the exam center before the start of the test. i think the only way i was able to survive that day was that i was still drunk in the morning, and at lunch i must’ve done something to stave off the hangover (probably popping Tylenol as it couldn’t hurt you back then, like everything else we didn’t know) because i survived the entire day.

i decided not to go to Grad School and don’t remember what the results of my exams were. Except Logic.

There was a Logic section in the test and i scored in the 95th percentile.

Just goes to show you, Alcoholism defies Logic.

About Al K Hall

Like a battered drinker or a punch drunk boxer, i am here for another round. For those of you who don’t know me, i’m a semi-professional writer on the rocks and a non-practicing alcoholic (if after 30 years of practicing, you still can't do something well, it's best to just give it up). For those of you who do know me, thanks for stopping by anyway and where’s the ten bucks you owe me? Welcome to my Bar None. A hole in the wall where we can hang out and trade the kind of stories you swap only when you’ve had one too many and either can’t find your way home or are afraid to. Hell, it’s cheaper than therapy and plus the pictures are prettier. Here we’ll crack open bottles and jokes and ‘last call’ are the only dirty words you’ll never hear. Pull up a stool and make yourselves at home.

Posted on October 1, 2012, in Alcoholism, Blast From The Pabst, Lessons in Recovery, Recovery and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 11 Comments.

  1. inthesameboatla

    Cool story, bro.

  2. So illogical. L.

  3. I read this just after you posted and laughed at the last punch line then, just as I did now, re-reading. “Alcoholism defies Logic” haha. Good one!

    I remember you telling me this story, and then promptly forgot about it until you posted it here. Didn’t you keep the sheet for a really long time, or something? Hang it on the wall?

    Nice Amy video… 🙂

    Live long & prosper.

    • Yeah, for the sheet i didn’t wash it it the whole senior year of college. At the end of the year we hung it up on the wall and it was like a mural of that time of my life…

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

  4. runningonsober

    College sure is fertile breeding ground for us. Geez. Epidemic of binge drinking here now. It’s all the rage. Well at least we’ll keep AA in biz. (haha). I have my own share of crazy college days, nights and hangovers…. Logic defying indeed.
    (great photo too!)

    • Drinking certainly was out of hand int he States when i lived there,and i can only imagine its getting worse. Where i love now, the general situation is OK, but i hear a lot about binge drinking in the UK and it seems to be worsen s well. i’m just glad to be past it!

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

  5. That was how I rolled in college and for a long time afterwards, though binge drinking stopped being cute and hurt a lot more. No wonder we kept at it though. The consequences just weren’t there (yet).

    • BBB!

      As a guy, i was never considered “cute” when i drank, so you have that on me, but you’re right, as long as the grades were good enough, i could keep binging as much as i wanted. That worked until it didn’t.

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

  6. ITSB emailed me the following photo to add to this post…

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