My (very) Bad

Al K Hall

 February 20, 2013

Al’s Insurance Company
United States


My name is Al K Hall and twenty-three years ago, I was a policy holder of AlKHall Automotive Insurance. In February, 1990, I was involved in a one-car accident on a public interstate with no injuries. I reported the accident to you, saying that I hit a deer, and received a reimbursement check.

I am writing you today because, as a recovering alcoholic who has not had a drink in over two years, I would like to apologize for making a false statement concerning that accident. I did not hit a deer as I reported at that time, but instead fell asleep at the wheel of my car while driving under the influence of alcohol.

I offer my heartfelt apologies for the false statement I made and I understand there may be potential repercussions for it. I am trying to put my troubled past behind me and if, in order to do that, I must be held financially liable for this incident, I would ask you contact me at the above address.

Thank you for your understanding and God bless,

Al K Hall

i sent this letter a month ago to the insurance company that paid for the car i totaled while drunk driving. i haven’t yet received a response, but every day my heart beats just a little faster as i open the mailbox.

Until i remember this is Step 3 stuff. i and my fellows “made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God,” so i have no control over the result of my letter. There is a distinct possibility that the company will insist i reimburse them for the the car and if that’s the case, i need to hope they’ll let me work out a payment plan because i don’t have the money to pay them back.

i sent the letter in the first place as a part of my Step 9 amends [“Made direct amends to such people {we had harmed} wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others”]. i tried to find ways to avoid sending it, justifications that would let me off the hook, but i knew i had to tell my sponsor about the accident and he told me i had to write the letter. For what it’s worth, he did acknowledge what a bitch it was!

Step 9: Putting Recovery where your mouth is.

Used 2013-03-21 i made a mess (AlKHall Anonymous sobriety recovery)

Cleaning up my mess

i’ll keep you posted when/if i hear back from them.


About Al K Hall

Like a battered drinker or a punch drunk boxer, i am here for another round. For those of you who don’t know me, i’m a semi-professional writer on the rocks and a non-practicing alcoholic (if after 30 years of practicing, you still can't do something well, it's best to just give it up). For those of you who do know me, thanks for stopping by anyway and where’s the ten bucks you owe me? Welcome to my Bar None. A hole in the wall where we can hang out and trade the kind of stories you swap only when you’ve had one too many and either can’t find your way home or are afraid to. Hell, it’s cheaper than therapy and plus the pictures are prettier. Here we’ll crack open bottles and jokes and ‘last call’ are the only dirty words you’ll never hear. Pull up a stool and make yourselves at home.

Posted on March 22, 2013, in AA Step Work, Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholism, Lessons in Recovery, Recovery and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 24 Comments.

  1. Miss Anne Thrope

    Bravo, Al. I salute your rigorous honesty in sending this letter. This is one of the tough ones, one of the really having to put your money where your mouth is ones. But this is also one of the ones you’ll think of when you’re looking your kids in the eyes and telling them that you have worked your steps and you have walked the walk and that you can set high standards for their honesty and responsibility because you have lived up to those standards, too. Bravo.

    • Thanks for the encouragement, Miss Anne. It was a difficult letter to write, and you’re right, it does give me credibility when i talk to my kids about this kind of stuff, and myself as well. When i look in the mirror, i know i’m doing everything i can to stay focused on my sobriety. Thanks again, kitten!

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

  2. runningonsober

    Yeah, that’s a tough one Al! Good for you, I’m not sure I could be so honest. I bet the person who got the letter was like, “what the wha?!”

    • i don’t know, ROS, you seem like a pretty brave person. And yes, i would’ve loved to have seen the expression on the face of the person who opened that letter!

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

  3. Wow, good on you. And yes! Be honest let the chips fall as they may. Bet it’ll be a freeing feeling if they do write back… all it’s going to be is money you owe them isn’t it? Best to you my brave friend. Love from the Juicing Queen xxxx

    • Hi there Juicing Queen!

      Sending the letter was also very liberating. There’s such a sense of peace in the knowing i’m doing everything i absolutely can to honor my recovery. And how true… all i owe them now is money.

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

  4. Now that’s cleaning up your side of the street! That is awesome, Al. Please do keep us updated!

  5. Al…this is phenomenal. I just finished talking to one of my guys about his Step 8 list and going through his amends list, and man, some of the ones he has to do are considerable more difficult than the ones I have done, and of the few remaining I have left. They make my “difficult” ones look easy. Having said that, I look at what you wrote and did there and have to applaud you for the willingness to do this. Many would have balked at that one. The big book talks about doing it no matter what the personal consequences may be, and you’re certainly putting your money where your mouth is. This is the kind of stuff that when you are working with other men that you can *show* them what going to any lengths looks like.


    • “No matter the personal consequences” and “rigorous honesty” were phrases that kept popping up during my 8th step. But i’d be lieing if i said i didn’t regret remembering this one the minute i did! Still, my Higher Power helped me stand tall and face the consequences, so all i can say is that i’m glad i don’t have to do this shit alone.

      Keep coming back, brother,

      Al K Hall

  6. Iucundum Platea

    Good stuff. Worth every ounce of the courage and faith it took to do it. Stand tall, hold your head up. Well done. My very best to you and yours.

    • Thank you! The amazing thing i’ve noticed about the program is that whatever i put into it, i get back even more. That happens time and time again, so it makes me want to keep investing more in my sobriety.

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

  7. Ho. Lee. Shit. This is one of the most courageous real life examples of step 9 work that I have personally encountered. You inspire me to get back to my amends, thank you for this post!

    • Thanks for the props, Miracle! i’d like to take the credit, but i’m just an ex – drunk wobbling on the shoulders of giants. 🙂

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

  8. That’s a brave thing you did. There will be no reward, or none to be expected. But your soul is a little more pure, a little more humble now. x

  9. holy shit balls. way to go. there’s a parade for you, can you see it from where you are? 🙂

  10. Very awesome and courageous! I am still hanging on my 9th step… still… Ugh. This is very inspirational. 🙂 thank you for sharing! And thanks for reminding me to let go and let god!

  11. facingfactsaboutmyself

    Hey mate, you are a braver and more truer man than I could be. I’m proud of you and will reflect on your example. Hope it works out for you, Paul.

    • Hey brother,

      Thanks for the “brave”, although i’m not sure it’s bravery when i’m only doing it because i’m scared shitless my recovery won’t stick so i’m willing to go to whatever lengths necessary to stay on the straight and narrow.

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

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