My Butt Ugly Sobriety
You, dear reader, have a beautiful sobriety. As someone who had the character defect of constantly comparing myself to others, i used to catch myself being jealous of how gorgeous your sobrieties are.
When i began my recovery, i wanted my sobriety to be the most beautiful sobriety there ever was. i wanted the Playmate Sobriety of the Year. i wanted a sobriety that was so hot people would notice us wherever we went and wonder aloud how someone like me could nail a sobriety like that.
This is not impossible. i could certainly bag a drop-dead gorgeous sobriety. The problem is, that kind of sobriety is high maintenance and i have a hard time in situations like that. i tire too easily of keeping a relationship like that going, and the risk is that i’d eventually think a sobriety that beautiful wasn’t worth the effort and break up.
The other day i took a long, hard look at my sobriety and liked what i saw. My sobriety won’t win any beauty awards but we suit each other nicely. i have the kind of sobriety that teases me when i take myself too seriously and who doesn’t place unrealistic demands on me. i’m proud of my sobriety when we go out together, to a meeting for example, or when we simply spend time with friends because my friends like my sobriety a lot. Even better, i can be myself around my sobriety, and i need that because i don’t know how to be anyone else for very long.
What about you? What does your sobriety look like? Care to share a “photo” in the comments?