No Telling

Used 2013-04-28 Don't tell me what to do (AlKHall Anonymous sobriety recovery)

Don’t tell me what to do!

My parents never told me to stop drinking. This doesn’t mean they weren’t worried about it.

During out annual fishing trips, in the middle of the lake on the boat at the crack of dawn, my father never failed to bring up the subject at least once. He’d ask me where i was with my drinking, i’d do him the courtesy of lieing and then he’d list all the alcoholics in our family and remind me it is a genetic disease. And then we’d get back to fishing.

i’m glad they didn’t tell me to stop because i wouldn’t have.

True story, i wouldn’t have quit for anyone, no matter how much i loved them and the proof is that i didn’t.

i needed to learn for myself that i needed to learn. And because that decision was homemade, i cared about it more.

What about you? Did your family and /or friends pressure you to quit? Tell us in the comments!


About Al K Hall

Like a battered drinker or a punch drunk boxer, i am here for another round. For those of you who don’t know me, i’m a semi-professional writer on the rocks and a non-practicing alcoholic (if after 30 years of practicing, you still can't do something well, it's best to just give it up). For those of you who do know me, thanks for stopping by anyway and where’s the ten bucks you owe me? Welcome to my Bar None. A hole in the wall where we can hang out and trade the kind of stories you swap only when you’ve had one too many and either can’t find your way home or are afraid to. Hell, it’s cheaper than therapy and plus the pictures are prettier. Here we’ll crack open bottles and jokes and ‘last call’ are the only dirty words you’ll never hear. Pull up a stool and make yourselves at home.

Posted on April 28, 2013, in Alcoholism, Lessons in Recovery, Recovery and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. No one pressured me, because I was a closet drinker. I am sure a few suspected, but I pretty much hid it from all. It wasn’t until I got arrested that then everyone knew. Boom! ha ha…guess what, everyone!? So I can’t really answer the question properly, but it will be interesting to see hwhat others say….will keep myself posted here!

  2. Nope, not once. In fact, my dad just offered me a beer during a visit this past weekend. Alcoholism doesn’t run on that side of the family and he has a hard time wrapping his head around my drinking problem. I kept it well hidden, though others in my family weren’t as surprised when I announced I quit.

    Agree that you can only really quit for yourself. That’s not to say that family members/loved ones shouldn’t voice concern because it might chip away at denial and maybe even give the final push. But we have to accept there is a problem to address in the first place.

    Love this post — imagine the answers are all over the map. We are all alike yet so different.

    • Hi BBB!

      Thanks for the visit. The story of your dad made me smile. My ex-wife never understood alcoholism and so kept insisting i just needed to take a break for a couple weeks before drinking again.

      Last summer my dad told everyone i was his hero because i’d been able to stop drinking and smoking. This was nice, until you realize he was drunk when he was talking about it! lol

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

  3. I love this! With my addiction, people would tell me all the TERRIBLE consequences of my disease if I kept at it. i’d either (1) cry; or (2) get pissed off; (3) get a little scared; or (4) go “do it”. Caring people mostly scared me, but THAT doesn’t count.

    Parents, well mine were wolves (i love wolves and i love my parents) but they simply thought I was disgusting, which REALLY didn’t help.

    BUT none of this matters, as byebyebeer says, this is for US. No one quits for anyone but themselves regardless of how selfish that sounds. That’s the nature of addiction. It is UNkind and UNloving.

    WOW, but look at us now!?!?! eh?

    • Hi there, my friend!

      i can imagine that coming down so hard on someone wouldn’t be very effective.

      i love the way you said that we have to be selfish to stop because that’s the nature of addiction. You are so right when you say it’s Unloving and Unkind. Definitely.

      Thanks for the comment and keep coming back!

      Al K Hall

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