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What do you think?

Used 2013-05-06 White Trash AlKHall Anonymous sobriety recovery

Wake Up Call

  • Wake up in the morning.
  • Realize i’m alive.
  • Feel sad about that fact.
  • Sit up, put my feet on the floor, my elbows on my knees, my face in my hands and wonder how it ever got this hard.
  • Wait for the courage to rise.

This was my daily routine for so many years it’s embarrassing. Consistently, the first thoughts that crept into my waking mind were like roaches: gross, depressing and impossible to get rid of.

Since becoming sober, i wake up in a neutral mood. Usually, my first thought is a simple question, “Do i work today?” If the answer is ‘No’, i feel good. If the answer is ‘yes’, i don’t feel bad.

Last Saturday, i was having lunch with some AAers (and that victory is a whole ‘nother post) after a meeting  and i mentioned this crap to a friend. He told me that his therapist told him that the first thought of the day is great way to judge where your head’s at. (FWIW, the friend’s first thought was “How do I get out of my marriage”!–he’s now divorced.)

So, this is my challenge for you. Over the next couple days, try to capture your first thought of the morning. Take your mental temperature first thing when you wake up, and share it here with us if you can!

________________________

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About Al K Hall

Like a battered drinker or a punch drunk boxer, i am here for another round. For those of you who don’t know me, i’m a semi-professional writer on the rocks and a non-practicing alcoholic (if after 30 years of practicing, you still can't do something well, it's best to just give it up). For those of you who do know me, thanks for stopping by anyway and where’s the ten bucks you owe me? Welcome to my Bar None. A hole in the wall where we can hang out and trade the kind of stories you swap only when you’ve had one too many and either can’t find your way home or are afraid to. Hell, it’s cheaper than therapy and plus the pictures are prettier. Here we’ll crack open bottles and jokes and ‘last call’ are the only dirty words you’ll never hear. Pull up a stool and make yourselves at home. http://about.me/AlKHall

Posted on May 6, 2013, in Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholism, Lessons in Recovery, Recovery and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Oh nice, I like that. I’ll try it tomorrow morning. It breaks my heart to think of you slumped on the edge of the bed, head in hands, feeling so utterly miserable with the world. It’s Fan-Freaking-Tastic that you have lifted yourself up out of that state my friend. xxxx

    • Hi Mrs D!

      i look back on that guy i used to be not so much with heart break but more impatience. i just wish he’d clue in a little faster than he did, but oh well, everything happened when it needed to, right?

      Thanks for the visit, my friend!

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

  2. Oh man, been there (not on that bunk, but that’s a groovy solution) with the hand in head and wondering how the hell did it happen *again*? But you’re right about the first thoughts – one speaker said that that first thought is almost always the most honest and clearest thought we have in the day…before the committee gets there.

    Good exercise – going to try it too. Will report back!

    Paul

    • Paul!

      Thanks for the visit. Hangovers were the worst, but even worse is that i felt like i described even on mornings when i wasn’t hungover! That was often my base line–and it sucked. Glad to hear you heard the same thing about the first thought! i’d love to hear what it is, if you stop by this post again!

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

  3. Well… Pretty neutral too! I have tried this since you posted and that’s really cool. Another reason to be grateful! I think my mornings used to be more like this: http://www.discountparrotsupplies.com/696/parrot-video/cant-take-this-not-another-day-commercial/

    • Isn’t normal great? Isn’t it freeing to wake up knowing the day is whatever we decide to lake of it!? i can’t believe i was afraid to try this for so long!

      Keep coming back, NSL!

      Al K Hall

  4. Usually my first thought is “is it too early to get up?” which is indicative not only of my insanity but the absence of hangovers. When I get up too early, though, I feel almost as bad as hungover. What a problem to have though. I wouldn’t trade it for the dread and shame and worry of how to start another day as a hungover secret drunk.

    • Hi BBB!

      i’ve been waking up a lot earlier now than i used to, as well. Part of it is no hangovers and the other part is age. i actually feel good when i wake up early and don’t have to…it’s like i have bonus hours to do more of what i want rather than wasting it sleeping. i think part of it, as well, is feeling that i wasted enough mornings (and more than a couple afternoons!) sleeping away my sickness that i’m psyched i have the chance to get some of them back!

      Thank you for the comment!

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

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