The Voices

Used 2013-06-20 Is this you (AlKHall Anonymous Sobriety Recovery)

You could pig out on candy and not have any dinner.

You should just binge on TV all weekend.

Take another 5-minute break on top of the 18th 5-minute break you’re just finishing.

Just click on one more link.

You owe it to yourself to look for every sexy picture of Amber Heard every leaked online.

You deserve a drink.

Angry Birds is on Facebook!? And you want to write!?

Maybe it’s just me, but i realized the other day that my cravings come in voices. I’m not saying the fish sticks in the freezer are telling me to kill my boss, but when i’m tempted to press the “fuck it” button, the temptation comes in the form of words. Exactly like those above.

The frustrating thing is that i recognize all of those actions won’t make me happy, but i have to take the time to quell the voice before i can enjoy my time. Or sometimes i give in (except for the drink, of course) and feel some degree of bad about it later.

At least now i understand that voice is not right. Before, because it came from inside me, i thought it was what i really wanted. The more meetings i attend and the more service i give, the faster i’m able to recognize the voice as temptation.

But here’s the thing i don’t get. Where does this voice come from? Where inside of me do i get these messages that will lead me to being unhappy?

About Al K Hall

Like a battered drinker or a punch drunk boxer, i am here for another round. For those of you who don’t know me, i’m a semi-professional writer on the rocks and a non-practicing alcoholic (if after 30 years of practicing, you still can't do something well, it's best to just give it up). For those of you who do know me, thanks for stopping by anyway and where’s the ten bucks you owe me? Welcome to my Bar None. A hole in the wall where we can hang out and trade the kind of stories you swap only when you’ve had one too many and either can’t find your way home or are afraid to. Hell, it’s cheaper than therapy and plus the pictures are prettier. Here we’ll crack open bottles and jokes and ‘last call’ are the only dirty words you’ll never hear. Pull up a stool and make yourselves at home.

Posted on June 20, 2013, in Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholism, Lessons in Recovery, Recovery, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Ha, ha, I would say hormones, but you’re a guy so that might not be the reason. Lol! Hmmm. So I don’t know. I am naturally a negative person, well not so much anymore. Maybe we just like being bad. Bad feels good? maybe it just seems like it feels good in an exciting sort of way. I don’t know where i am going with this, i have stopped debating these things. who cares. I think the key here is that you recognize these things and you are able to not listen! Woot woot!

    • i have stopped debating these things. who cares.

      This is exactly what i needed to hear!

      Like i heard in the rooms one time, “‘Why?’ is not a spiritual question.” The cause isn’t important, it’s how i deal with it.

      Thank you!

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

  2. Asking “Why” does help. Isn’t that what HALT is about? The internal dialogue should go “I’m having these cravings. Why? Am I Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired?”

    Or if it’s something other than an alcoholic craving that has you feeling strangely, do an ABC. Was there an “Activating Event” that is causing me to feel this way? Am I harboring some irrational Belief that acting on these urges will make my life better? Am I failing to consider the Consequences of acting this way?

    But to your point: understanding the exact neurological mechanisms of urges for instant gratification isn’t as important as being able to recognize their presence in your thoughts and disarm them. Whether it’s doing an ABC or the invokation of an invented HP, do whatever it takes to get the pre-frontal cortex — the area of the brain responsible for planning and “higher consciousness” — firing.

    • Hi, Boat!

      Good point about asking why, except it’s nit really a craving so much as a voice that pops up out of nowhere and says, “Why the fuck not, dude?”.

      But you hit the nail on the head. It’s not an “evil voice” in my head, it’s “neurological mechanisms of urges for instant gratification”. Thank, brother! You answered the question! Thanks for helping me clear that up. Maybe now that i understand it, it’ll be easier to quiet that nagging voice.

      You rock, man, keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

  3. I think it is good that you are having the inner dialogue, at least there is, now a voice of reason inside your head to argue with the devil in your head. The voice for good used to be performed by an early sponsor of mine, but was eventually replaced, as York would be replaced by Sargent, by my own voice. All these years later and I still have this inner arguments about what is the right path. I use as my guide, 1) The fact that I am thinking this way period, weighs heavily in my/sponsors voice’s favor, 2) What is it worth to me to give in to this desire and 3) Whether or not I would the suggested actions from my friends and loved ones. Any actions I feel need to be hidden, or lied about, I immediately dismiss or strongly reconsider.

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