Judge as a Sober
Remember me? i’m the guy who has a lot of defaults and is lucky enough to be able to see them clearer all the time.
The truth now: i judge a lot. All the time. Constantly maybe even.
i judge walking down the street, talking to people i meet, looking in the mirror, even getting clearer in the rooms.
I judge alcoholically, meaning compulsively, and for the wrong reasons because i judge to make myself feel better at another’s expense. i judge because i like to think i’m master of the universe and judging the world comes with the job.
i don’t just judge you, though. i’m an equal opportunity judge because i judge myself all the time, as well. i judge myself for being too shy, too fearful and i judge myself for judging too much.
But that’s OK, right? Judging myself is a good thing and it’s a tool for self improvement, isn’t it?
Judging myself isn’t an act of humility, it’s the opposite. Judging myself is a flagrant act of hubris because i’m basically punishing myself for not acting as perfect as i know i am.
i judge myself so i can feel guilty.
The solution to this is to be right sized. To see myself as i really am and not as who i think i am. Only after i accept myself for who i am today, defaults and all, will i be able to let myself off the hook.
Posted on September 17, 2013, in Alcoholism, Lessons in Recovery, Recovery, Toolbox and tagged alcohol, Alcohol Recovery, alcoholic, alcoholism, Judgmental, Judgmental alcoholic, mental-health, Recovery, sobriety, Toolbox, What i learned in AA. Bookmark the permalink. 12 Comments.