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Straight Ahead

Used 2013-10-21 Get Well Soon (AlKHall sobriety recovery)

Get Well Soon

The other day a song called “Behind Me Now” by the talented Amos Lee popped up on shuffle and the stark first lines left me thinking.

All my best days are behind me now.

If you had told me three years ago, before i got sober, that my best days were over, i would have gotten angry and disagreed with all the logic and fear at my disposal.

“Sure,” i would have said, “things aren’t that great for me and my past is full of glories and greater times but to say my best days are behind me,” i would have argued, “is basically telling me i might as well kill myself.”

With my drinking, however, that’s exactly what i was doing. Until i tried to commit suicide the fast way. One of the reasons for that fiasco was that, on some level, i did suspect that all my best days were behind me.

If you came to me today and told me all me best days were behind me now, i wouldn’t argue with you. i wouldn’t become nervous and search for words to justify my lifestyle and choices. i wouldn’t need to because i know that today is better than yesterday, and yesterday was pretty damn good.

That’s why i intend on staying straight ahead.

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About Al K Hall

Like a battered drinker or a punch drunk boxer, i am here for another round. For those of you who don’t know me, i’m a semi-professional writer on the rocks and a non-practicing alcoholic (if after 30 years of practicing, you still can't do something well, it's best to just give it up). For those of you who do know me, thanks for stopping by anyway and where’s the ten bucks you owe me? Welcome to my Bar None. A hole in the wall where we can hang out and trade the kind of stories you swap only when you’ve had one too many and either can’t find your way home or are afraid to. Hell, it’s cheaper than therapy and plus the pictures are prettier. Here we’ll crack open bottles and jokes and ‘last call’ are the only dirty words you’ll never hear. Pull up a stool and make yourselves at home. http://about.me/AlKHall

Posted on October 21, 2013, in Alcoholism, Lessons in Recovery, Recovery and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Nice post! 🙂 It is amazing how these songs that touch us suddenly pop up and get us thinking… Beautiful.

  2. I want you to know that every time you reference your suicide attempt, I pause and thank God that you failed. I am so happy you are around to inspire me!

  3. I had some fun days in the past, but I had a whole world more of shitty ones. I think “best” is a relative term, and while we had our blasts, things just couldn’t stay at that level for that long, at least for this cat.

    I too am glad you’re here, kind sir 🙂

    Spreading that love and joy…

    Paul

    • Definitely! The good times were so short lived and the happy bits i still remember i tend to blow out of proportion as to how good they really were. When i look back on my life, these will be the times i refer to as “the good old days”!

      Keep coming back, brother,

      Al K Hall

  4. This is such a great post. I identify with the pain in that song because, sure, I have felt that way before. Not anymore, though. There are plenty of great times ahead.

    I also want to mention the dead raccoon picture made me laugh harder than any picture has in some time. We have a poor dead fella in similar pose just around the corner and I think he needs one of those balloons.

    • i’m glad the post spoke to you! Also the picture! The first time i saw it (months ago), i truly did laugh out loud and couldn’t wait for an appropriate post to share it in!

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

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