Used 2014-03-03 Not So Clear (AlKHall sobriety recovery)

Or Not-so-Clear History

Overheard in the an AA meeting tonight:

When I was drinking, I had a lot of adventures only I wasn’t there to enjoy them.

What cracked me up was that no one in the room batted an eye. That phrase made perfect sense to everyone there.

Now, try saying that exact same sentence to someone who is not an alcoholic. Walk up to a friend / coworker and tell them, “I had quite an adventure last night but I wasn’t there to enjoy it.” I bet their reaction will be a little more surprised.

One of the many things I love about us drunks—and one of the reasons the program works so well for me—is how we automatically ‘get’ each other because we’re all turning the same page.


About Al K Hall

Like a battered drinker or a punch drunk boxer, i am here for another round. For those of you who don’t know me, i’m a semi-professional writer on the rocks and a non-practicing alcoholic (if after 30 years of practicing, you still can't do something well, it's best to just give it up). For those of you who do know me, thanks for stopping by anyway and where’s the ten bucks you owe me? Welcome to my Bar None. A hole in the wall where we can hang out and trade the kind of stories you swap only when you’ve had one too many and either can’t find your way home or are afraid to. Hell, it’s cheaper than therapy and plus the pictures are prettier. Here we’ll crack open bottles and jokes and ‘last call’ are the only dirty words you’ll never hear. Pull up a stool and make yourselves at home.

Posted on March 20, 2014, in Alcoholics Anonymous, Alcoholism, Recovery and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 6 Comments.

  1. Ha! That’s great stuff. Like the rest of the room you mention, it wouldn’t have occurred to me either to do anything but nod my head in recognition if I had heard that. We really do seem to be quite a distinct group, we alkies. The problem’s unlike any other. We can’t just address it and then move on to the next challenge. We must direct ongoing attention it, or the problem will flare up again. And we can’t address only the problem either. We must forsake those aspects of identity to which we clung most fiercely for year after year after year, or the problem will likely come back, and worse than it was.
    Spiritual growth has a concrete aspect for us that I think it probably does not for most non-alcoholics. I KNOW the inadequacy of my will. I lived in the failure of my will for so long, and sucked so bad. Either appropriately or counterintuitively (I’m not sure which), we who spent so long in misery somehow seem positioned best to get the most from our lives, and to do good for others, once we put the bottle down and stop trying to run everything. And of course, keep doing the simple work we have to do.
    I trip out about this shit everyday. When I walk into a room and see those guys (or gals) with that ‘glow,’ it’s just… wow. I look at them and can tell: That’s real. He’s full-on, no bullshit, legit happy and wise and at peace. He has what I want, and he’s telling me I can get it too. In fact, he wants very much to help me get it. The program worked for him, no doubt. And damned if it ain’t working for me too, though I’ve a long way to go. I’m sober and feeling better every day.
    It works. It really does.

    • Eric!

      What a great comment. You’ve touched on so many keys to my recovery here. One of the main things is that i have to live up to the fact that i cannot control my drinking. That’s a given. i tried for 30 years and just kept failing more and more miserably each time. i have to give up trying to control that to a power outside of myself.

      The other thing i have to agree with is that it works! It really does, and my life is getting better constantly, and especially in direct measure to the efforts i make and the concentrated steps i take towards being in recovery.

      Keep coming back, brother,

      Al K Hall

  2. Yeah .. fuck sometimes I do really begrudge that no-one in my normal life (all the normies, and to be honest, alcoholics in denial) understand in the slightest what I try to explain. They never will. Only people that get sober understand what it all means. Like really understand. Then you can empathize fully. Lovely to hear from you my friend xxx

    • Mrs D!

      You’re so modest! A wordsmith of your caliber can certainly explain quite a few things. Apart from that, though, i imagine explaining alcoholism to a normie is like trying to explain blindness to someone with sight: they can understand the concept of darkness, but don’t know what it’s like to live in it.

      Keep coming back,

      Al K Hall

  3. Author Catherine Townsend-Lyon

    I’m really enjoying your Blog! I have been in Recovery 7 years now from addicted gambling, and a few to many cocktails when I gambled….Ha Ha…Learning to look behind the blame and denial and be totally honest about out addictions, and learning that they were controlling US, not the other way around she is a knee slapper! But a true first step into recovery!
    Great Share, Thanks!
    Author, Catherine Lyon 🙂

    • Catherine!

      Thank you so much for the visit and the comment! i’m glad you’ve found something in my posts, and agree that the first step to recovery is admitting we have totally lost control.

      Keep coming back!

      Al K Hall

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