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Used 2013-09-06 Drunks Sleeping With Each Other (AlKHall Sobriety Recovery)

Drunks Sleeping Together

i have a crush on this girl. She’s charming, timid and very pretty.

The problem is, i’m going to ask her out.

It’s a problem because i had no idea how complicated this is. And it is. Very. Hell, dating in civilian life is harsh enough without taking into account things like threats to sobriety, triggers and addictive thinking.

RelAAtionshps in AA

In Alcoholics Anonymous, there is a rule of thumb that newcomers (those with less than one year of sobriety) should not start new romantic relationships–neither with each other nor someone who has more sobriety than them (see the “13th Step“).

Also, and i didn’t know this at first, but ‘fellows’ of the opposite sex (or same sex, depending on which way you swing) are discouraged from exchanging phone numbers as a way of reaching out.

Used 2013-09-23 Reluctance (AlKHall sobriety recovery)

Reluctant to reach out

With these land mines in mind, i took a couple steps to make sure my sobriety came first.

What i Did

  1. Talked to my sponsor
  2. Spoke with people in the program who i admire and who have more sobriety than me

What they said

  1. Take things One Date at a Time: Think only about the date your on, not the next one. Or moving in together. Or babies.
  2. Go in with no expectations. That way, if things don’t work out, neither person is tempted to drown their sorrows in anything stronger than a Mountain Dew
Used 2013-09-23 Winning her back (AlKHall sobriety recovery)

How to win her back (but not her front)

As for what happens next, well, i’ll keep you posted.